Vogue and Vibes
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
— Maya Angelou.
Welcome to my blog. I am Zeynep. A 20-year-old, International Relations student who tries to explore life and herself. This is my first post at my new blog. Come join me on my lifestyle and fashion blog and keep an eye on what is there to come. And do not forget to subscribe to get notified with every new post. Enjoy!
Have you ever had thoughts about how your life would sound if it was a rhythm? Would it be peaceful? Or would it feel like it is in a rush, like really fast? Maybe something intense, from the kind that gives you chills. In my case it is hard to tell how it would sound. But I think it should have ups and downs, or even parts where the music stops.
-Ups for every time something new happens, every time you explore, every time your stomach hurts because of laughter.
-Downs for the times that you just stare the floor where you don’t even know what you are thinking, maybe daydreaming or maybe simply nothing. Or for the times your life is steady, everything is in order, where you feel like everything works well for you.
But the rhythm should stop for the times that such a drastic thing happens that you can’t even understand what happened, you know, for the times where you felt like the world stopped for a moment, in a good or bad way. What kind of emotions do you feel throughout your life? Are you an emotionally stable person or not? Are you anxious or calm? These features of yours are the key for the rhythm of your life. You might be going through very similar things in your life with someone else. But it doesn’t feel same to you. It is because who you are. Your rhythm is not only formed from the things happens to you but instead it is how you take them, how you feel about them. So, what would your life, your emotions sound like?
Dear mum and dad,
I wanted to write this thank you letter because I truly never said thank you enough. I do not know how to start this because even though it has always been a habit of me to thank for every small thing to everyone, it is still a struggle to thank out loud when it comes to situations like these. But I think it is very common that how saying thank you or I love you to our family is very rare and somehow difficult when we are saying these to friends all the time. So, with this letter I want to say everything that I usually can’t. When I had to write a letter to a contributor to my life, I couldn’t think anyone that has been this influential to me other than you guys. Thank you for investing so much in raising me. For all of the small and big things you have sacrificed from yourself to give to me, which I wasn’t even able to understand at that time. But when I am writing this, beside all the amazing things you have made for me I am also writing this for some of the things happened between us and left me broken and hurt in their own way. Which I believe that I wouldn’t be who I am without them. But regardless of everything, dad, thank you for believing in me and always telling me that I am capable of everything when I did not even believe in myself. Thank you for always supporting me and trying to put yourself in my position and comforting me. Thank you for working so hard so that I would have better opportunities. Thank you, mom, for always putting me first when I wasn’t even able to tell how much you were putting your life on hold for these. Thank you both for believing that I have the talent to reach my goals even at the times when I hesitated and tried take a step back, but you pushed me forward. Without your support, without the way you raised me, the values, the lessons you thought me I wouldn’t be who I am today. And I am so grateful for everything you have done for me, for your existence.
Thank you again for everything that I did not thank enough till this day. With lots of love.
Your daughter, Zeynep.
My Emotions Through Highlights of my Life
Anyone else needs to set ‘don’t think too much’ as a daily reminder? I do. When I think about the major highlights of my life, I would start with my exchange experience. For so many years I knew that being an exchange student was one thing I have always wanted. The way it would give me the change to test myself if I am fit for my dream life, live in an international environment, to see what it is like to live, be a student in a different place than I am used to. But when the time came to actually do this, my thoughts made me hesitate and take a step back from what I dreamed of. I started to overthink about every little detail, and I got the feeling of it was getting harder to get out of my comfort zone, even that it was the one thing I wanted most. So, putting too much thought on everything, making things harder for myself was very present. It almost made me took my application back, which little did I know it would cause me to miss the best experience of my life.
So, my feelings were full of telling myself let things be, not think too much about every detail, not make things harder than they are, so I could enjoy whatever was happening. But when I think about which emotion was also present at my highlights, the feeling of desire to explore was also very present. Even though overthinking and constantly stressing looked like they overshadow everything else, my main motivation was always my need of explore. A year ago, I decided to have an exchange semester and explored places, people, cultures. And I welcomed everything that came with it good or bad, I was doing what I wanted. Now I am in state where I can call this as a turning point as well. I am a student at my last year and now it is time for me to explore what I actually want to do with my life. The part of my life where I knew what is going to happen next is about to end with graduating. So, it is time for me to see what I actually want to do in my life next, what I love, what I am good at, where I want to be. So, I will be busy exploring myself and desires in life so I can give an answer to these questions. How were you feeling at the turning points of your life?
Hey there! I am Zeynep and this is my first time interacting with you so I thought introducing myself and telling my story would make a good start. I am a 20-year-old college student who studies International Relations and tries to find herself as time goes by. But let’s start from day one of my life to see how I got there and what made me become the person I am. I was born in Denizli, Turkey at December 4, 1998. I am the second child of my family as an addition to my brother. Oh, did I told you that I have the same birthday with my mom? Like literally same date and even same the day, Friday! Even though I am originally from İstanbul I was born in Denizli. The reason behind this is my fathers’ job that requires constant moving in the country. So I spend the first 3 years of my life in Denizli but when I was 3 years old, we moved to Cyprus. Where I started my education life. Oh, the beginning of my favorite thing in the world, education… I think living at Cyprus had been really nice to me, all I can remember is good memories. My dad’s workplace was just right next to where we live and everyday after school I would just go to his workplace. I always loved to go wherever he works, but this place felt even more special to me. After having lovely 3 years at Cyprus the day has come and we moved to İstanbul and that will be the last place we moved as a family, but I don’t know where life would take me to move next. So, I was 6 and I started to primary school. I can swear that the education life felt like hell on the inside till university, even though I might not made it seem that way. As I remember I was really an extroverted person till maybe finishing the elementary school. But what happened to change this might be the effects of my education life. I have never been a ‘bad’ or ‘unsuccessful’ student but standing up to my parent’s expectations or to be the person that they have dreamt didn’t quite happen as they have wished so I have always been through a state of fight and arguments with them. But with these situations I started becoming more of an anxious person and shared less then I used to. I still am really friendly and talkative but, in the inside, I am full of anxiety. So maybe I will overcome this with my blog. If I made this introduction sound weird, I didn’t mean to. I am just trying give a background to what made who I am. So, back to my education life I changed 7 schools. But what I believe is moving around and always changing schools in my life made me a person who gets adapted to changing situation, places and environments easily. With finishing high school, I had to make a decision on what I should study but this was a difficult question. I wanted to be a Tv presenter, to be in the media industry or study psychology. But I didn’t study any of them, with my future anxiety I needed something less specific and something made me feel more secure, so I ended up choosing International Relations. So, in short I can say that I am a social, friendly, very free-spirited person who wants to find herself. My next mission is having a masters at abroad and build myself a life but that’s another story that I will tell about later. But to finish this off I would tell you my favorite word on earth which I think it would tell a lot about me, Hiraeth. The closest translation to the English means a feeling of homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, or for a home which may have never been. So, with the search of who I am, I am also on a search for my home that I have never been before. Please feel free to join my journey, with lots of love,
Zeynep.
Living Vogue 